I recently came across an article on www.oprah.com entitled “Facts You Didn’t Know About Cheating.”
Infidelity and Divorce:
- 69% of marriages don’t survive an affair.
- Studies suggest that only 31% of marriages make it through infidelity.
- 80% of couples who get divorced after an affair regret the decision.
- 17% of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity.
- Research suggests that 56% of divorces are caused by an obsession with pornography.
- Weight loss surgery patients have an 85% greater chance of divorcing their spouse.
- Studies suggest that 75% of married couples with special needs children get divorced.
Men. Vs. Women
- Recent studies suggest that there is infidelity in 8 out of 10 marriages in the United States.
- 68% of women in the United States say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught.
- 74% of men say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught.
- 54% of married men do not know that their wives are involved in extramarital affairs.
- Studies suggest that 70% of married women do not know their husbands are having an affair.
- 14% of married women in the United States admit to having had an affair.
Cheating Types and Results:
- 44% of married men cheat because they feel they are not having enough sex in their marriage.
- 40% of married med who have an affair use an escort service.
- 64% of adults believe that sexting can be an act of infidelity.
- Research suggests that almost three percent of all children are the product of infidelity.
- Studies show that 75% of relationships which start out as affairs end in failure
“There is infidelity in 8 out of 10 marriages in theUnited States.” What I find interesting is how common cheating is, but yet, how unaware many people are about it. I guess as little kids we are taught to dream of the white picket fence and 2.2 kids, but the reality is not even close to this.
I used to think marriage should be ‘easy.’ Meaning, you and your partner should just fit well together without putting in a lot of effort. Since the affair, the hubby and I share a different opinion on this. Marriage is difficult, and needs a lot of work and constant attention and nurturing in order to survive. Pre-affair, we got along great. No one would ever suspect any problems. Even after disclosure, we still had many moments where we could hold a conversation or be in the same room without anyone suspecting we were on the brink of ending our marriage.
We also chose not to tell most of our family and friends immediately. So for over a year a lot of the people that knew us well, didn’t suspect a thing. And after we started telling people about what was going on, needless to say there were a lot of surprised looks.
We had both decided long before we started telling our family and friends about the affair and other child, that if we came across anyone that was angry or disagreed with how we chose to handle things that we would (depending on who they were) just write them out of our lives. We just didn’t think that having the negativity around us would be good for us or the kids in the long run. And really, what we decided to do wasn’t really anyone else’s business. You can judge all you want, but until your in the same situation, you have no idea how you would handle it.
So we went into it expecting a lot of backlash from others (mostly friends), but surprisingly enough, majority of people we knew were very understanding and happy we stayed together. We did have a negative experience with one wife of a friend. While at her wedding, she got drunk and decided to tell off the hubby. At her own wedding! Sad isn’t it? Firstly, how could the hubby defend himself? He’d look like a complete jerk yelling at the bride! (I had to leave early to go home and nurse the baby or I would have b***h slapped her). Secondly, its your wedding. Is this really what you want to focus on, on your wedding day? Its not like she was a close friend of mine, we barely knew each other, so she wasn’t really doing this for my benefit. We just figured she’s a bit of a mouth piece and felt the need to offer her opinion on our lives, and so we did what any normal, rational person would do when someone pisses you off. We deleted her as a friend on facebook.
My point is, it was a major turning point to open our world up to our friends and family. It took alot of discussion, preparation and wine. But after we did it, it went much easier than we could have ever expected.