For the past several months, I have been working on forgiving my husband. I made the decision to do this because I felt tired of being angry and resentful of my life and how things turned out. I was missing my happier self, and I felt like my angry and sad self was not good for me or for my kids.
I’d gotten to the point where there was nothing left that my husband could do anymore that he hadn’t already done. I feel like I’ve spent the last 4 ½ years of my life trying to make him hurt as much as he hurt me, and what I’ve learned from the “Take Your Life Back” seminar is that he can never feel what I feel, or hurt as much as I hurt, and that’s okay. It’s okay because I can see that he is a man that is sincere in his apology and his actions. He is truly remorseful for what he has done.
So with some guidance from Brian Bercht, and after attending the “Take Your Life Back” Seminar in Orlando, Florida, just last November, I learned how to do this. The letter he had written to me (see previous post), couldn’t have come at a better time. It only reinforced my decision that the timing was right.
I’m happy to report that on December 15, 2012, I forgave my husband. We got a babysitter for the kids, and then drove out to a private spot where I read him a letter I had written. The letter summarized my healing journey over the last 4 ½ years and where I am today. And at the end of the letter I stated that I was going to forgive him. I cried and my husband cried. We went out for a nice dinner and then after dinner we went home. I had written out all my resentments on pieces of paper, and in our backyard I burned them all. It was very therapeutic and symbolic. And although I have forgiven my husband, he says he doesn’t know if he will ever forgive himself.
It feels like the weight has been lifted and I can breathe again.