<Cue the crickets chirping>
Alone? You? What? You cheated on me remember? You were never alone, when you weren’t with me you were with her, at what point were you alone? And I’m still here! Your still not alone! These were just some of my first thoughts.
He continued on to say; “I could use a little support with Grayer.”
I guess I’ve always taken a back seat when it comes to parenting the other child. I mean, he’s treated the same as the other children when he’s here, but when it comes to making any kind of decisions about him, I pretty much stay out of it. In this case, my husband was referring to whether or not Grayer was well enough to go to daycare that day. He had had the flu previously and was just getting over it. My response was “Sure why not.” But I guess the hubby felt my answer lacked that “Mommy knows best” feeling. Most likely because I’m NOT his mommy!
I can sense at times my husband probably does feel alone and like a single parent when it comes to the other child. I’m here to help in the present but when I comes to making any concrete decisions about the other child, my reply is usually along the lines of “sure why not” or “up to you.”
I can pretty much equate my attitude to suddenly trying to be a parent to someone else’s kid. It’s weird and feels strange. I guess part of it also stems from me trying to protect myself. I have flash forwards of Grayer as a teenager yelling “Your not my mom! You can’t tell me what to do!”…etc. Which I agree is completely true, and I wouldn’t blame him if he did say that to me one day. That being said, I know step-moms that would disagree with this and say they have a completely loving relationship with their step-child(ren). However, how the other child behaves will most likely be dependant on his mother’s attitude towards the situation. And in our case, she is still determined to keep the affair a secret. How she plans on explaining this to the other child is beyond me. Unless the other child grows up to be an idiot that can’t do simple math her secret is bound to get out.
So I guess my hubby is justified in his feelings of being alone when it comes to parenting the other child. Maybe as time goes on I’ll grow closer to the other child and that might change, but for now, that’s pretty much how I have chosen to handle the situation, and I think that’s the best he can expect from me at the moment.