If your reading this, you probably already read the “About me”, so you have a basic understanding of my background. Im not going to spend a lot of time discussing the disclosure of the affair, other than to say that when I did find out, I made my husband suffer for a very long time, physically and emotionally. You would be surprised at how much pain you can inflict with just simple household objects. =)
Needless to say, the first year after disclosure was the roughest for both of us. Originally my plan was to get my pregnant butt up and leave. But being pregnant, as some of you might know, makes it tougher to get anything done, let alone, change my entire life. So at that time, my decision was to wait until I was no longer pregnant and then make my move.
However, during that time, my soon to be ex-husband and baby daddy, would not leave me alone. After numerous attempts to kick him outta the house, he refused to leave. And since, I alone could not pay all the bills, I let him stay in the guest room, at least until the baby came.
His reasons for wanting to stick around were plain and simple. His goal was to do everything possible to win me back. And he worked relentlessly at it for months. We ended up going to some amazing marriage counsellors and even did a weekend couples retreat. In that year following the disclosure of the affair, we learned more about each other than we had ever known before. During this time, no contact was ever made with the “Other Woman” (At least not by my husband).
It wasn’t until just before our first son was born that I decided to stay and give it a chance. What the heck? We already spent a small fortune in counselling right? J/K. No, my decision to stay was largely based on seeing a big change in my husband’s behaviour.
We’ve all heard of woman’s intuition right? Well I believe that if you think someone is lying to you, then you’re probably right. My gut was telling me that he was being truthful and was sincerely sorry for what he had done to me and to us.
Its been almost 4 years since full disclosure, and I have seen great changes in my husband, and in us as a couple. Of course we have our ups and downs, as most marriage do. But since that dark period in our lives, we’ve worked hard to ‘affair-proof’ our marriage and move on.